It's been a big weekend for me and my now husband. Pierre and I got married, and coming out of a weekend surrounded by so many of the people we love, I've found myself thinking a lot about what — and who — we make space for in our lives.

About the things we choose to protect, the things we say yes to — and, just as importantly, the things we learn to say no to.

The months leading up to this weekend, as well as the last few years, have been a time of thinking about — and practising — setting boundaries.

A mentor of mine once pushed me to value my time more, and to stop saying yes to things that didn’t align with where I currently am. It made me think about the qualities I admire most in the people I aspire to be more like — and how often they come back to the same things: integrity, kindness and the ability to hold a boundary.

The kind of boundaries that come from knowing what feels right for you - and what doesn’t.

And like a lot of things, boundaries are one of those things that sound simple until you actually have to practise them.

For me, people-pleasing has always been the easier path. Saying yes. Being accommodating. Keeping the peace.

Reading the room and adjusting myself accordingly.

But the more I think about it, the more I realise that boundaries aren’t really about becoming harder, or even being disliked. In fact, I think they often have the opposite effect. There’s something very likeable about someone who knows themselves.

They’re about becoming clearer.

Clear on what you have capacity for.
Clear on what you value.
Clear on what you want to give your energy to — and what you don’t.

And there’s something incredibly attractive about that kind of clarity.

Think about the people you respect most. The ones who seem grounded in themselves. They probably aren’t saying yes to everything. They don’t need everyone to understand their choices. They know where they end and someone else begins.

There’s a quiet confidence in that.

Maybe that’s because when we stop constantly reaching outside ourselves for approval, something shifts.

We keep more of our energy.
We become more present.
More vibrant.
And more ourselves.

And I think that is what makes boundaries so powerful.

They don’t make your world smaller.
They make more room for what actually matters.

So perhaps the question isn’t only: Where do I need to set a boundary?

Maybe it’s also: What do I value enough to protect?

⸻

A little Energy Audit